In Your Hands
We all have a deep, deep desire for a sense of control – without it we feel vulnerable. Just think, from an evolutionary prospective, our survival has relied on the ability to retain control – each of us is subconsciously wired to seek it at all cost.
Learning to let go of the need to control the external is a lifelong process. When children begin to discover their internal locus of control, being in charge of their own reactions and responses, they can re-direct their focus towards their greatest place of power.
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Have you ever noticed how many things you’d like to control but just can’t? Maybe you’d like to eat ice cream for dinner, or you’d like your friend to play what you want to play, or maybe you’d like to stay up all night instead of going to bed. Often we try to control things and just can’t – they’re out of our hands!
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Understanding the things that are not in our control can help us focus on the things that are. Lets start by tracing your hand onto a piece of paper.
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On the inside of your hand, write, “In my control.” On the outside of the hand outline, write, “Out of my control.”
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Now write or draw the things that ARE in your control on the inside of the hand. You could write things like: my choices, my actions, what I say to others, and myself, etc.
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On the outside of your hand, write or draw the things that are NOT in your control. These could be things like: someone treats me badly, my parents’ have an argument, or my teacher gives a surprise test, etc.
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Now lets use your hands to let go of the things that are not meant to be in your control. Imagine trying to hold onto something that isn’t your choice. Try to hold onto it tightly in your hands, keep holding it harder and harder until you feel you’re ready to let go.
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It’s hard to hold on to something that we have no control over! Now imagine opening your grasp and releasing whatever it is that you were trying to hold onto. Let it go! Imagine it floating or flying away.
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Lets name 5 things you can control right now, in this moment:
1. Your breathing.
2. Your thoughts.
3. Your words to yourself.
4. Your words to others.
5. Your body.
